I don’t even know what I strive for anymore.
Everything is unorganized.
Nothing is going according to plan.
Keeping the head up gets harder throughout the day and every week is a carbon copy of the week before.
The more people I met, the more time I wasted. The more memories I create, the less progress I achieve for my future. I want to settle. To go out for a bit on Fridays and have fun, rather than staying up late and getting wasted. Sure, it can be fun, but it’s just so repetitive and it doesn’t even get me excited anymore. I want to be able to call someone my own, take them out somewhere simple, drive back home and have a nice movie night or something rather than drinking the bad thoughts away.
There’s so little I can say but so much I have in my mind that it drives me crazy.
Over and over I was told that there’s no one else to rely on but yourself, but did she really mean that?
I would love to ask her, but sadly I can’t.
Life would be easier if it just didn’t happen.