It’s funny.
You always fall for the one.
“The one.”
The one you think is special and will change your life drastically from a normal life to some type of movie-esque life.
It’s totally fine to do that, but what you’re really looking at behind the smoke screen is just another someone. A someone who will soon become someone you gave your all but never gave the exact same amount back.
It’s a recurring theme. You always do this.
Over and over you do this, and you damn well know you haven’t changed at all.
You’re still a kid.
You’re still an infant.
You have not expanded your knowledge about love.
Sure, it’s big, but nothing else has been learned, nor given.
You are going nowhere.
You’re always going to think “the next one will be the game ender.”
“She’ll be the last.”
“She’ll be the perfect one.”
“No matter what anyone says, I’ll try my best to keep it together and keep us happy.”
But really in the end it’s never you. It’s always them. You’re just afraid of telling them off how they’re not putting in the same effort as you and you feel like you’re the one carrying the weight of the relationship.
And this was supposed to be the perfect one.

You said that how many ex’s ago?

Yeah.