I’m tired. Exhausted.
Tired of looking nice. Or looking like I’m always happy.
For once, I want to have an image that I am a human being. But not the same as everyone else. That I’m vulnerable, not weak. Not helpless, but fragile.
Always flirty, always happy, always looking up, it’s just as a double edged sword as being strict, passive, and pessimistic.
There’s nothing to learn from either side, it’s just that the lifestyles seem to compliment each other, saying that it wants you to crave to be the other side.
And if you try to be in the middle, you become lost, which I believe I have become.
P.S. To self: You fall for people too easily, did you know that? You have to cut that out!
This year is coming to an end and you have done nothing to change. I expect better results by the end of this year or you’re going to off yourself at the age of **.

-xx