I think I have enough toxins in my body to actually conjure up the courage for this lengthy tale.

To you.
I like you. I like your smile. I like that…something about you.
Like my friend who’s going through the (almost) exact same thing at the moment, there’s something about you, something I see inside you, something that tells me “You are worth it.” But I just don’t know how to get in your good graces.
I’ll make this short and sweet.
I don’t know if you like me back. I don’t know how to get closer. I don’t know if you would like to put in the same effort as I would. I don’t know how you function. I don’t know what you think of me and honestly, I think I’m just a person who you would push away if I try to help. Right now, I’m at a standstill. Drop me if you find me annoying or useless. Please.

To you.
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see what you’ve been doing for me.
I’m sorry I wasn’t a good friend, and that I wasn’t a good person to have a relationship with.
You say that the cause of our separation was both our selfishness, but in truth, it was my selfishness. That I always picked someone over you. That I picked the one I wasn’t sure of being able to get, rather than looking to you, the person that’s always been there, that’s always been supporting me and takes time out of your day to leave me small bits of happiness in your life to mine. I’m sorry that I’ve neglected you and that now, what we shaped together isn’t the same anymore. I hope to rebuild it, and I hope to persuade you that I’m a different person. One that actually pays attention and puts in effort.

With this being said, good night.
Room smells like alcohol and nicotine, woo.