You know how I did it?

Well, instead of blaming you.

Instead of being stupid, selfish, immature, and being a total dick,

I blamed myself.

I understand why you feel like I didn’t mean those words or doubt my feelings.
I don’t give two shits now, though my words were true. But if saying that my words that were only honesty and self expression was a lie and will help you make you feel better, then go right ahead. They’re gone anyway.

Yeah, all right. I’m a dick. I’m being cold hearted. Do I have to be? No.
Does it make it easier for me? yeah, of course.

If that relationship has taught me anything, its that self benefit comes before everything else.

What made it easy is realizing one essential theory.

That it was my fault.

Sure, you didn’t get to fully express how you felt.

Sure, you didn’t get to return favors even if nothing was holding you back.

Sure, you brought the inevitable demise of the relationship by that one conflict.

But really, it was my fault.

I fell in love with the wrong person. Should’ve seen it coming.

I gave it my all. I gave it even more than I had.

If it was right, it would have lasted but oh well.

Its easier to blame it on me, and look at myself and ask myself “how can I improve this character?” rather than spending time looking back and saying shit like “oh my god how did I fuck up” “how did I manage to break such a bond”

I don’t have time to bullshit around and feel all sad and depressed.

I fucked up. I’m a bit disappointed in myself because of my foolish choices.

But that doesn’t help with recovery at all.

Smiling, laughing, and having you out of sight, out of mind does.

I suggest you do the same.

I guess I’ll help you with anything, but right now, I sense sarcasm, tension, and a bit of disappointment on your end.

And I don’t want to deal with any of that.