We eventually fell.
Cracked, displaced, severed.
Not towards each other, but away.
I lost interest. I was a kid.
I was foolish. Thinking the first one would be the last.
Always hoping for the next one to be the last.
You’re an idiot.
She was two years older, but with the mind of a child.
Wasn’t mature, wasn’t able to comprehend where I was going to,
and had no interest in me to make me happy, but herself.
She exacerbated the break up by dragging along her ‘best friend.’
A gay 21 year old who ran away from his parents that now lives in a shelter ‘counseling’ other gay couples and came to aid when she called him.
What an idiot this ‘man’ was. His english was atrocious, his mind was an emotional wreck, and his guilt trips and lies gave an impression that there would be no way in hell I would give her another chance.
Rather than talking to me face to face, she had her best friend try to convince me not to break up with her.
My mind was set. It was clear what I wanted to do.
There was no negotiations at this point, not even for a child-like 17 year old.
Enough with the bullshit. Enough with the heart tugging, I’ve consulted with her not to disrupt any of my academic intentions and she wants me to make out with her and so I can be late for a school play that I was technologically and physically directing? No.
I knew what I was giving up.
It wasn’t my side that was at a loss, it was hers.
She was losing someone she ‘loved.” Someone she had ‘tried so hard for.’
Me? I was losing an expendable human being. Just like every human being out there.
But I thought deeply about it. What if I was in her shoes? What if I lied to someone for their sake, tried to make only yourself happy because the person that you’re with makes you happy? I would be devastated to lose that.
Hence why I did cut it off.
Something in the back of my head told me “You’re the only thing she has. She has an abusive mother, and an alcoholic father. You’re her only outlet.”
“Too fucking bad.”

I look at myself some times and think what if we were still together.
Would I have truly been as happy as I am right now?
or much more miserable?
I try not to look back, but it haunts me at times.
Seeing people holding hands, sharing some sort of affection, having cinema-like moments out in public.
I try to keep my head straight. That I don’t need anyone else in the world but myself.
I want to prove that even without love and support, one can still be a tyrant of this sick media-dominated populous.

You just need to rid yourself of what everyone gives too much of:
your heart.