We all regret something.
We are told it is healthier not to, but I respectfully disagree.
Sure, it saves us the grief and the acknowledgment of what we did wrong, but it also shows us what we fucked up on, what could we have improved, and how we have changed since then.
One thing I still regret is still not taking my chance with you.
I was an idiot, really.
Many nights, I thought of you and to this day, every time I smoke, you still pop up.
I’ve made an error on my side. I should have never given you up.
You don’t really know how much I miss you.
It was foolish of me but all I can do now is see how you do from afar.
Because we never directly talk anymore, nor do we make an effort to ever since that incident.
I’m sorry.
Sometimes I wonder how we would have turned out but that just doesn’t cut it.
I feel weak if I do.
I feel like an idiot.
And I will not be made a fool of.
Especially by myself.

ugh. This ego will be the end of me.
I respect you too much to let you go, to be honest.
I miss you and I really wish to help how I did before.
But it’s over. And I really can’t do much because
….well, just because.
For now I’ll just let it die, just like this flower.

Au revoir.